I happened upon this video on Reddit, which is going somewhat viral, called “Dont pet my dog ass hole.” [sic] which features a self-proclaimed Brooklyn dog trainer named Peter Caine going on an expletive-filled rant about why you shouldn’t pet dogs you see walking on a leash. I mean, he’s kind of got a point, if you can get past the FROTHING INSANITY of it all:
If you like, encourage the dog to come over and be petted by you, and it’s on a leash, the owner is going to have to correct the dog. You’re getting the dog in trouble, you dick! Don’t whistle to the dog, don’t distract the dog. The dog’s being good. See? He’s at heel! Now this is my dog, and he’ll ignore the sh*t out of you, but someone else’s dog? You know, that’s the point! You’re getting the dog in trouble!
He’s everything I love about the internet.
But then! I was like, what is this guy’s deal, anyway? According to his website, Read Your Dog, he’s a military vet, which potentially says a lot right there. And as it turns out, Peter Caine, Dog Trainer has over six hundred and fifty videos on his YouTube channel. And down the rabbit hole we go!
One common theme that arises is that he REALLY doesn’t like the Dog Whisperer. In fact, he’s got several video rants directed at Cesar Millan, including this one, reacting to news that Millan wants to rehabilitate the Hero Cat dog.
F*ck you, dick! Nobody should watch his f*ckin’ show. Seriously. Put this guy off the air, what the f*ck, he’s a dick. You all don’t see through this?
On what he thinks of fancy dog training schools:
This is a fact, I learned dog training from my father, so don’t even give me any sh*t — I’ve been around this for f*cking years. And I don’t have any “certificate” from anyplace. I don’t need one! Why would I f*cking need a certificate?
HE HAS A CROW. NAMED “BOOPIE.”
OK, I don’t even know what the hell is going here, but sh*t just took a turn for the disturbing:
Ah-mah-zing. I would say to get this guy a television show, STAT, but I’m like 90% sure that he’s actually bipolar, possibly off his meds and might end up killing someone eventually.