Detroit Local 4
We’ve met the dumbest college girl ever who cost her family $80,000 thanks to a Facebook brag — now meet 22-year-old Colleen Cudney of Westland, Michigan, whose Facebook brag could actually land her ass in jail. Cudney received probation after a DUI conviction in 2012 which clearly states that she’s not allowed to consume any alcohol. When she was called in to take a random breathalyzer the morning after St. Patrick’s Day, she passed — but then brilliantly took to Facebook to brag about her achievement. I’m pretty certain that your brain doesn’t fully set until you hit twenty-five.
Investigators say she posted this: “Buzz killer for me, I had to breathalyze (sic) this morning and I drank yesterday but I passed thank god lol my dumba@@.”
A Westland police officer saw her post that morning and notified the probation office. When a probation officer called Cudney to return to the office for an urine test, she hung up the phone.
Probation officials say that was a violation of her probation. It was set to end in a few weeks. A urine test would have detected if Cudney had anything to drink in the 80 hours prior to taking it, probation officials said.
This is the future of our country, ladies and gentlemen: YOLO! The only way this story could improve comedically at this point is if she took the urine test and found out she was pregnant with a St. Paddy’s Dumpster Sex baby. Dumber things have happened!
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/4060/thumb)
Yep, Michigan is slowly being groomed to take over Florida.
DELAWARE!
Do people actually live in Delaware? It was always the state I forgot on the 50 state test in middle school.
Dumpster sex couple, my friend. Also tax free shopping and liquor emporiums.
@Jeff: Or imagine being whisked away to, Delaware. Hi….I’m in Delaware.
Ha! I lose this argument.
Yeah, as a person of Michigan interest who’s also been to Delaware, I feel obliged to say Delaware sucks more. If only because the EMT’s in Michigan know that people with a BAC of .28 (measured after we got to the hospital, so it was probably higher in the ambulance) are not going to be very responsive.
“STOP SPITTING!”
/puts mask on him
I live in Delaware and we have lots of fun things such as Punkin Chunkin, the Dogfish Head Brewery, tax free shopping, Joe Bidden, Aubrey Plaza, and so much more!(But not really.)
Hi. I’m in Delaware.
Her defense should be that her choice of eyebrow is punishment enough.
Yeah, she looks closer to 42 than 22, mostly due to the eyebrows.
Maybe she can find a nice young lady in genpop to draw her some normal ones along with her new teardrop tattoo.
Yes, keeping drunk drivers off the streets so they can’t kill anyone…fuck him!
If you are dumb enough to have a cop as your friend & still keep on like she’s keeping on, you deserve it.
It’s true, the emotional and cognitive parts of your brain aren’t fully developed until around 25.
I’m basically a scientist.
That must be nice for you. A simple Google search on your end would have verified my claim. The more you know!
That’s why you’re not allowed to rent a car until you’re 25.
I’m pretty sure it’s in the Bible somewhere.
That cop sucks.
She could just be too stupid to understand privacy settings.
Uproxx, and you people commenting on this article makes you all sick and ignorant pond slime. you post articles like this for people faults and for your enjoyment, all you look like is nosy and dumb. You don’t know this girl and yet you just helped out with screwing up her life with no conside ration to this girls family and friends. Was it any of your business doing this? She made a mistake and probably learned from doing it. And your little (sick uneducated remark at the end of your post make me think of how bad of a journalist you ate because you can’t find any decent thing 2 write about, instead it this & make a comment on an unexpected pregnancy that humanely is just sick . I hope your children get hit by a car and you get colon cancer and die a horrible death. mind your danm businesS. You people all have something you would want hidden and if some nosy little prick did this 2 you you would be very upset. amd if this was you, you all would be embarrassed and shamed, but you have your faults hidden so you think u have nothing wrong with yourself, what the hell ever. Go die please
Thank you for sticking up for me, I greatly appreciate it!!
You guys are all a bunch of ignorant ass people that literally have nothing better to do with your lives! Do you honestly believe everything you fucking read? If so, you’re just as dumb! I usually wouldn’t defend myself to people I don’t know but this is a must! First off I wasn’t drinking and driving, they got all that shit off of a private convorsation, and I definitely didn’t get pregnant on st party’s day. The reason I went out on st party’s day is because I had just miscarried a couple days before with my exs kid you low life pieces of shit! Just like that guy said, I hope you and your kids die a terribly painful and slow death and I mean that from the bottom of my heart! I bet every single one of you have fucked up in your life but the difference between you and I is my shit got blasted all over the world and it isn’t even true! And for this dumbass to make up that I got pregnant that day from some dumpster sex is the most unprofessional idiotic lowest thing I’ve ever seen and you deserve to be buried alive knowing as you’re dying in that 6ft hole, you’re kids and family were just slaughtered like animals ! All of you pieces of shit deserve every wrong thing that happens to you and I hope when you fuck up, you get blasted all over the news with a bunch of little made up horrific lies. Get a fucking life seriously! You guys laugh at me about this shit but I’m laughing cause you guys sit on the Internet all day commenting on untrue shit and talking shit about someone you don’t know. thank you intx66 for sticking up for me, I greatly appreciate it and need someone on my side to tell these assholes! If I see anything else posted about me I will definitely sue for slander and defamation of character 😆 fuckin idiots.
Oh and I definitely didn’t cost my family $80,000. Seriously where the fuck did you come up with this shit? Lmfao again, fuckin idiot.