Florida will see your woman calling 911 over “raw waffles” and raise you this woman who called 911 expecting sexual favors from an assisting officer. Maria Montenez-Colon, of Punta Gorda, Florida, initially called 911 complaining that she wanted her Corvette back, which she had apparently signed ownership over to her step-son. Once a police officer arrived on the premises, however, things quickly took a turn for the squicky. From NBC2:
The 58-year-old immediately told the officer he was sexy and asked if he was married, according to the incident report. Then she started over-sharing. Montenez-Colon allegedly told the officer, “I haven’t been penetrated in years,” and “I am so horny.”
The officer tried to steer the conversation back to the topic of the call, asking what he could do for her. Montenez-Colon’s response was “You can [expletive] me,” according to the report.
Flattering an offer as that is, the officer informed Ms. Montenez-Colon that unfortunately he couldn’t help her with her vehicle or, uh, “penetration” issues and left. Shortly after, Montenez-Colon called 911 again, this time pissed that she had been turned down for sex. (Fact: Women don’t like being turned down for sex.)
The original officer arrived, along with a second officer.
Montenez-Colon reportedly complained about the original visit to the second officer, saying, “He was a perfect gentleman, but when I asked him to [expletive] me — he turned me down so that made me angry.”
When asked by the original officer if she remembered the conversation about misuse of 911, Montenez-Colon allegedly said, “I do, but how else am I going to get you to [expletive] me?”
Montenez-Colon was arrested for Misuse of 911 and booked into the Charlotte County Jail.
I think there’s a lesson to be learned here, and that is: 911 — it’s not a booty call. Unless you’re actually really super hot, in which case most cops probably wouldn’t mind so much. I mean, as long as there’s no bank robberies or muggings going down, you’ll probably be fine.