First the bad news — Justin Bieber might potentially succeed at weaseling his way out of charges stemming from his DUI/drag racing incident, due to a combination of shoddy police work and his great love affair with illegal substances. Miami Beach prosecutors offered Bizzup the same deal they offer all first-time DUI offenders — which includes community service, alcohol education classes and random drug testing. Do you think Justin Bieber would put a shirt on for community service? Alas, we may never know… TMZ reports:
Sources connected to Bieber tell TMZ … there are several reasons they aren’t buying what prosecutors are selling. First, there are huge problems with the case — they believe the cop lied when he said Bieber reeked of booze (he only blew a .014), and he was also lying about observing Bieber drag race — the GPS device registered a very reasonable 27 MPH.
Disappointing yet understandable. I know if I were a cop and came across a giant dildo driving a yellow Lamborghin, I might get a little overzealous myself.
But the bigger issue is this — our sources say Bieber will NOT accept any plea that has probation … where the judge can throw the book at him if he screws up.
In particular there’s NO WAY Bieber will agree to random drug testing. Fact is … he has a problem with weed and sizzurp. If you don’t understand his worry, just remember Lindsay Lohan, who became a habitual probation offender for more than 7 years.
Also, we’re told Justin will not accept an alcohol ed course as part of a plea deal, because he’d become a spectacle.
So, uh, the good news I mentioned? There’s still like a hundred other things in the can Bieber could get deported and/or thrown in jail for — we just need to keep holding out hope.
In other news, Justin Bieber’s new single “Broken” dropped this weekend, which is about how it’s really super hard to be Justin Bieber. Is hip-hop supposed to sound this whiny?