Florida Woman Arrested For Shooting Missile Into Car Has The Most Florida Name Imaginable

Creative Director
06.10.14 23 Comments
crystalmeth

Polk County Sheriff's Office

We may have officially reached peak Florida, now that a woman named CRYSTAL METHENEY has been arrested for shooting a missile into an occupied vehicle.

Ms. Metheney was arrested last month after violating Florida statute 790.19, which refers to: “Shooting into or throwing deadly missiles into dwellings, public or private buildings, occupied or not occupied; vessels, aircraft, buses, railroad cars, streetcars, or other vehicles.”

Her arrest set up one of the great inmate pages in recent memory:

Screen Shot 2014-06-10 at 4.33.41 PM

Polk County Sheriff's Office

To be fair, Crystal didn’t (necessarily) fire a heat-seeking scud into the vehicle, as statute 790.19 uses the non-military definition of “missile.” The statute seeks to nail anyone who “throws any missile or hurls or projects a stone or other hard substance which would produce death or great bodily harm.”

(Polk County Sheriff’s Office; H/T Guyism)

Around The Web