Ron Swanson himself, Nick Offerman, was asked to host the Radio and Television Correspondents’ Association Dinner in Washington, D.C. last night, because he’s been to 2017 — he knows what future President Doge has in store for the country. Offerman’s fantastic speech touched on everyone and everything from Eric Cantor (“He’s the first House majority leader to lose a primary since 1899, which is also the last time we were at war with Spain. So watch yourself, Spain”) to the Bill of Rights (“You can’t just pretend that the Constitution says whatever you want it to say. That’s what the Bible, expiration dates, and speed limits are for”) to Time Warner (“Corporations are now considered people, which I think is great, because it’s always been my dream to punch Time Warner Cable in the face”).
The most Swanson-esque moment was when gun control came up, and Offerman joked (“joked”) how resolving a dispute with a gun as opposed to fisticuffs is “nothing short of cowardly.”
Here’s part one…Subscribe to UPROXX
Here’s part two…