Meet these two lovebirds who couldn’t be amorously restrained during St. Patrick’s Day festivities this past weekend in Newark, Delaware. The couple were seen having full on penis-vagina doggystyle sex in broad daylight next to a dumpster in the rear parking lot (PUN INTENDED!) of what appears to be a Dunkin Donuts. Lucky for them, there were plenty of passersby to capture photos and video of the intimate moment of what I assume was their first time together so they’ll have something to show the grand kids someday. Unluckily for them, Newark, Delaware police are searching for their identities to press charges with the help of major Philadelphia news outlets. Derp!
Police say the two suspects were captured by cell phone video and photos allegedly “engaging in sexual intercourse” in public, “in plain view of numerous passers-by.” According to police, video was posted on various social media websites.
Suspect #1 is described by police as a college aged white male with brown hair. He was last seen wearing a green button down shirt, khaki pants and brown boots.
Suspect #2 is described by police as a college aged white female with blonde hair. She was last seen wearing a green short sleeve t-shirt, jean shorts, brown cowboy boots and glasses.
I live just off of UPenn and Drexel’s campuses in the University City district of Philadelphia, and these descriptions fit at least 75% of college kids littering the streets and falling all over each other at any given moment during the entire month of March — or as I like to call it, Assh*le Month. Call me a killjoy or maybe I’m just not into green barf or dumpster sex, but it’s the reason why I hide in my home until April every year.
Video MOSTLY safe for work, thanks to the vertical filming prowess of the person who took this: