Far be it for us to ever judge the difficulty level of someone else’s job, but as UPROXX’s foremost authority on all things Taco Bell, I’m confident that the person(s) in charge of creating new items for the fast food company’s menu has the easiest job in the world. Behold, the most obvious example of that declaration – the Quesarito, or much more simply, a burrito wrapped in a quesadilla. Now, customers of Chipotle might already be familiar with such an item, as it had been offered by request only is those fancier burrito restaurants, but now this creation is going to become one of the hottest selling items on the TBM (the Taco Bell Menu for the uninitiated*).
Unlike the Taco Bell breakfast menu, the Quesarito didn’t make its debut in the California market, and instead got a test run in Oklahoma City, where it became the best-selling item since the Doritos Locos Taco, according to the Los Angeles Times. So how did Chief Marketing Officer Chris Brandt come up with such a bold idea? “We’re constantly hearing stories about two great things coming together to create something extraordinary and that takes on a life of its own.” Groundbreaking.
But that got me thinking, you guys. I could do this guy’s job in my sleep, as I do, in fact, dream about new types of tacos that would make my life complete. So I sat down and used the Quesarito as inspiration to help me come up with these ideas that Taco Bell can use for free, so long as they’re willing to give me a lifetime supply of Volcano Tacos. That’s a firm offer, TB.
The Mexican Pizzurrito
Remember Mexican pizza from elementary school? That octagonal crap that tasted like week-old tacos left inside a rotting cow’s stomach? It was awesome, and now this idea brings that back to the mainstream, but it’s a regular slice of pepperoni pizza with a burrito on top of it.
It’s a taco, but instead of lettuce, cheese and meat, it’s filled with tiny burritos.
It’s a burrito that is flame-broiled and then served between two hamburger buns.
It could also be available in hot dog form in most Midwestern markets.
The Lobster Stuffed with Tacos
The Simpsons gave this one away for free so many years ago, and yet those Taco Bell/Long John Silver stores have never taken advantage of this. That ends now.
Only available in Colorado and Washington for the time being, this is a burrito that you can smoke weed from. It’s like killing two birds with one stoner.
*I just made that up to impress you, actually. I hope it worked.