*deep breaths deep breaths*
I HAVE LITERALLY NEVER BEEN MORE EXCITED ABOUT ANYTHING IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
A Scandinavian research lab, The Nordic Society for Invention and Discovery (NSID), is developing a product called “No More Woof” — a brain-scanning technology which detects and translates a dog’s thought patterns via a headset device into pre-recorded human phrases. So basically, Up is coming true, only probably without the whole balloons carrying away a house thing because I’m pretty sure that is not scientifically accurate.
Here’s a bunch of scientific mumbo-jumbo from the project’s page, but — YAY! TALKING DOGS!
The technology used in No More Woof is the result of combining the latest technologies in three different tech-areas, EEG-sensoring, Micro Computing and special BCI software. During the last decade huge discoveries have been made to map out the human brain’s functions. But never before has anyone made a serious attempt to apply this groundbreaking technology on man’s best friend.
For instance there is a spectrum of specific electrical signals in the brain defining the feeling of tiredness (“I’m tired!”). Some of the most easily detected neural patterns are: “I’m hungry, “I’m tired”, “I’m curious who that is?” and “I want to pee”. (It is worth pointing out that dogs “think” in a different way than humans. Whereas the dog’s brain signals might indicate hunger, that does of course not really mean the dog is “thinking” that, it’s rather more a mental state than a “thought” although the difference between these two things is actually an interesting philosophical question, for those who are into these things.)
You can actually contribute and pre-order a device via “No More Woof’s” Indiegogo page, ranging from a $65 base option that translates 2-3 thought patterns — all the way to the deluxe $1200 model which boasts algorithmic learning which, over time, will adapt into your dog speaking short sentences, as well as a golden dog-tag with engraving of your choice.
If I could be sure that the technology would be ready within the lifespan of my beloved 12-year-old Australian Shepherd, currently sitting next to me, I would forego next month’s mortgage payment in a HOT minute. Video below:
Header image via