This ‘How Often Do You Masturbate?’ Chart Only Proves Everyone’s A Liar

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Senior Pop Culture Editor
05.30.14 22 Comments
freddy claw

New Line Cinema

I imagine that at least four times a week, someone asks the chart monkeys over at Nate Silver’s FiveThirtyEight how many times the average person masturbates. Well, Brandon, 31, New York, today’s your lucky day. You jack off eight times a week — does that mean you’re normal, or are you a hairy-palmed VIRGIN who still has a Seven of Nine poster by your bunk bed? Have a look.

Two things:

1. 18.5% of men 18-24 haven’t masturbated in a year? I guess the statisticians left out the part where half of those polled are armless coma patients.

2. Props to the 70+ ladies for making sure their girls stays golden.

Via FiveThirtyEight

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