4. Eugene Porter
Don’t tease us with the promise of a zombie dino video game. MAKE THAT ZOMBIE DINO VIDEO GAME.
3. Maggie Greene
“There are zombies all around me. What to do? OK, Maggie, think like Glenn. What would he do here? Well, he’d probably do the dumbest thing possible that will still somehow work, even though it shouldn’t…I GOT IT! I’ll empty my clip into the ceiling of this tunnel, and hope for the best. Surely wildly shooting bullets at rock and concrete will work, and not fall on me or give me tinnitus. It’s what Glenn would want.”
2. Glenn Rhee
I guess looking to the left and climbing up would have been too physically challenging.
1. Glenn Rhee
“Us” was one of my favorite episodes of the half-season (that’s not saying much, but still!), but it also had one of the most damming Bad Decisions yet: GLENN. Just, all things GLENN. It’s not enough that he walks/runs around Georgia like he’s the only person who lost someone to the Walkers, or that he’s thick enough to not realize Tara will follow him until he reunites with Maggie, no matter how injured she is — it’s that he gladly puts his and Tara’s life in danger to save, what, a day at the most? Abraham, Eugene, and Rosita, who was allowed to speak this episode, walk in the opposite direction, find a minivan, and even doze off in the time it takes Glenn and Tara to get through the tunnel, a tunnel Glenn knew was literally crawling with Walkers (Freud says, Glenn’s tunnel = Maggie’s vagina). Maybe all that hilarious running he did in his riot gear impeded his ability to think rationally? He and Maggie are truly meant for each other.
Updated bad decision rankings:
3: CORAL Grimes and Rosita
2: Abraham, Eugene, Blonde Girl, Little Blonde Girl, Daryl, Glenn
1: Michonne’s Zombies, Rick, Tara Chambler’s Acting Coach, Deaf Bandit Taking a Dump, the Deaf Bandits, Bob Stookey, Sasha, Carol Peletier, Tyreese, and Falling Zombie.