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Cross Eyewitness News

The world’s first and only all cross-eyed news team struggles to bring you today’s top stories, from a different perspective.

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Here Is What’s Actually Going On With The FCC And Net Neutrality

Theworld’sfirstandonlyallcross-eyednewsteamstrugglestobringyoutoday’stopstories,fromadifferentperspective.

The Brooklyn Cyclones Are Doing Another Star Wars Night With Sith Jerseys And Bird Jedi

Theworld’sfirstandonlyallcross-eyednewsteamstrugglestobringyoutoday’stopstories,fromadifferentperspective.

‘Portlandia’ Helpfully Demonstrates Why The Best Part Of A Concert Is Going Home

Theworld’sfirstandonlyallcross-eyednewsteamstrugglestobringyoutoday’stopstories,fromadifferentperspective.

Watch This Drunk Dressed As Beetlejuice Wake Up After Passing Out In The Wrong House

Theworld’sfirstandonlyallcross-eyednewsteamstrugglestobringyoutoday’stopstories,fromadifferentperspective.

Here’s The First New Slayer Song In Five Years, ‘Implode’

Theworld’sfirstandonlyallcross-eyednewsteamstrugglestobringyoutoday’stopstories,fromadifferentperspective.

Sean Hannity Challenged Jon Stewart To A Fight Over Cliven Bundy And Jon Stewart Cold Knocked His Ass Out

Theworld’sfirstandonlyallcross-eyednewsteamstrugglestobringyoutoday’stopstories,fromadifferentperspective.

Funny, Sexy, And Awesome Cosplay Of The Week

Theworld’sfirstandonlyallcross-eyednewsteamstrugglestobringyoutoday’stopstories,fromadifferentperspective.

Dumbest Guy Ever Fakes His Own Kidnapping For $200 Ransom From His Mother

Theworld’sfirstandonlyallcross-eyednewsteamstrugglestobringyoutoday’stopstories,fromadifferentperspective.

Ten Bucks Says Drake Is Already Sitting On A Lint Roller Joke For The ESPYs

Theworld’sfirstandonlyallcross-eyednewsteamstrugglestobringyoutoday’stopstories,fromadifferentperspective.

Treat Yo’ Self To The 15 Best GIFs From ‘Parks And Recreation’ Season 6

Theworld’sfirstandonlyallcross-eyednewsteamstrugglestobringyoutoday’stopstories,fromadifferentperspective.

Here’s The Best Matt Damon DVD Display You’ll See Today

Theworld’sfirstandonlyallcross-eyednewsteamstrugglestobringyoutoday’stopstories,fromadifferentperspective.

Let’s All Hatewatch ‘People’ Magazine’s Most Beautiful People Read Nice Things About Themselves On The Internet

Theworld’sfirstandonlyallcross-eyednewsteamstrugglestobringyoutoday’stopstories,fromadifferentperspective.

Let It Go In ‘Grand Theft Auto IV’ With These Cathartic ‘Frozen’ Mods

Theworld’sfirstandonlyallcross-eyednewsteamstrugglestobringyoutoday’stopstories,fromadifferentperspective.

Is This Hip, New Ronald McDonald Any Less Creepy Than The Old Ronald McDonald?

Theworld’sfirstandonlyallcross-eyednewsteamstrugglestobringyoutoday’stopstories,fromadifferentperspective.




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