Yesterday, we found that LeSean McCoy, the second-newest Buffalo Bill isn’t particularly thrilled about being in Buffalo. Sadly, this is nothing new. As we learned from Willis McGahee’s remark about Buffalo only having Dave & Buster’s and Applebee’s, or Tom Brady’s quip about staying in some nasty hotels during his time in Buffalo, a lot of athletes have a negative perception of my hometown. Well, they’re wrong, and I’m going to show you why. Buckle up Shady, because I’m gonna give you a tour of the best eating and drinking establishments in the Queen City. There are so many places you can leave 20 cent tips at, you won’t believe your eyes!
Dave & Buster’s/Applebees
Let’s start with the fabulous McGahee Duo of eating establishments. I’m guessing that in his four years in Buffalo, the only place McGahee ever looked for dining options was Transit Road in Williamsville, and even then, we totally have a Chili’s in that area, too. And an Old Country Buffet! Anyway, Applebee’s is a decent-if-nothing-special eatery that Olivia Wilde’s husband whole-heartedly endorses, so there’s that. As for D&B, I’ll let these guys tell you all about it:
Jim’s Steakout – Pretty much everywhere around the city
Jim’s is the restaurant of choice for drunk stoners at four in the morning. Plus, you order over the counter, so tipping is not a concern. The tacos, hoagies and burgers are great, but I would recommend the poutine, which is life-changingly fantastic. Another positive, everyone will be way too shitfaced to recognize you.
Lloyd’s Taco Trucks – location varies from day-to-day
Here’s a solution to your tipping problem: eat at a food truck! Okay, I’ll be honest, I would love to tell you about Lloyd’s tacos, but every time I see the Lloyd’s truck, there’s an obscenely long line, so I’ve never had them. Judging by their insane popularity, though, they’re probably really good.
Bacchus – 56 W Chippewa St
This is a fancy rich person restaurant that I am neither fancy nor rich enough to have ever eaten in. My guess is, they have a bunch of really amazing steaks that would be more delicious than anything I have ever eaten. But that’s not the point! LeSean, you should come here because the bar for athletes being decent people here is extremely low. All you have to do is not get a hostess fired by complaining on Twitter. Seriously, that’s what Nick Barnett did four years ago. You can feel free to tip 20 cents all you want. As long as everyone still has their jobs, you’ll be the kindest Buffalo Bill to ever sit foot in the place.
The Old Pink – 223 Allen St
A punk dive bar that hasn’t been renovated in decades, which is how it should be. This bar is awesome and dirty and grimy and if Jon Taffer ever fucking comes here and ruins it, I will be super pissed. Also, they have really fucking good steak sandwiches. Tipping probably won’t be a concern, because pretty much everyone who drinks here is broke.
Anchor Bar – 1047 Main St.
Notable for being the birthplace of the chicken wing (we don’t call them “Buffalo wings” here), although to be honest, there’s hundreds of different places where you can get a chicken wing, and most of them are pretty good. I mean, how do you fuck up a chicken wing covered in some Frank’s Hot Sauce? It’s the perfect foodstuff. Still, the wings here are pretty good, and it’s worth checking out even if just for historical reasons.
Teton Kitchen – 415 Dick Road – Cheektowaga
This is just a really fucking good Japanese/Thai restaurant that I thought deserved a mention here. You’d have to drive out to Cheektowaga, but it’s worth it. Amusingly, two of their menu items are the Buffalo Bills Roll, and The Philadelphia Eagle. Seriously, the Bills one makes sense, but how they thought to name one after the Eagles is beyond me. Anyway, I would recommend either the Baked Ginger Chicken Wings – easily the best spin on wings I’ve ever had – or the rocket shrimp, although you pretty much can’t go wrong. But Shady, these guys are really nice, and if you don’t tip, that’s some old bullshit.