Beef Moe And Butthorn: The Movie

03.27.12 6 years ago 19 Comments

In earth-shattering news involving two great crays that cray well together, Marshawn Lynch is going to appear in a movie with Gary Busey. With scant detail available about each role, I should temper my expectations, but screw that. I’m seeing this puppy sight unseen with the belief that Beef Moe and Old Butthorn will never not be on screen making animal noises while downing handfuls of Skittles and peyote.

It’s called “Matt’s Chance”. It’s about a mid-20-something cowboy who’s betrayed by his girlfriend. It sends him into a downward spiral. The movie tackles all the things Matt is going through, from the mafia to corrupt bankers to even God himself.

Matt goes through God Himself? Oh, this movie is gonna be so badass. I can already vision it now: Busey plays God wearing nothing but moccasins, a headdress and a bolo tie while Marshawn charges at him in full pads. The scene takes place behind a Cracker Barrell, where you can see the manager yelling at the crew because they never got permission to film.

Lynch’s co-stars include the 6 Million Dollar Man, Lee Majors. Plus, Edward Furlong from Terminator 2 and Margot Kidder of Superman fame also co-star in the movie.

Wow, there’s a lot going on here, by which I mean there are a lot of out-of-work actors. Busey himself just filed for bankruptcy last month. That makes Marshawn’s involvement all the more amusing, since he just got a lucrative contract extension. But then I’m pretty sure you can talk BEEF MOE into doing anything with a $10 Applebee’s gift card.

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