Unearthed Biography Excerpts Take Shots At Donald Trump’s Eggplant Emoji

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Donald Trump takes plenty of shots at other people, so he shouldn’t be surprised at how eager folks are to attack him in kind. And many of these tactics also echo Trump in going for the easiest jokes possible, which often revolve around his alleged small unit. It’s not a huge leap of logic to assume that a guy who loves erecting skyscrapers may be compensating for other shortcomings. This is one reason why “leightweight chocker” Marco Rubio took such pleasure in pointing out Trump’s small hands in comparison to his otherwise large stature.

This glorious assertion by Little Marco launched a yuge debate about exactly what Trump was hiding, and could a man with such a shortcoming possibly lead the country? The real estate mogul even spent part of a debate assuring the audience that there’s “no problem” downtown. Well, there may be an even bigger issue with Trump’s eggplant emoji. Politico dug deep on folks who’ve followed Trump over the years, and one excerpt from a 1993 biography, Lost Tycoon: The Many Lives of Donald J. Trump, alleges that Trump’s pipes are not in working order:

Want to know where Trump inherited his entrepreneurial bent? Gwenda Blair traces it to his grandfather, who ran a series of restaurants in the Klondike that featured some of the best food in town, as well as private areas where ‘sporting ladies’ could ‘entertain’ miners. Who was really doing the deals that made Trump famous? Wayne Barrett will tell you the only signature that really mattered on a contract belonged to Trump’s father, Fred. What broke up Trump’s first marriage? Harry Hurt III writes that Ivana ‘confided to female friends that Donald had difficulty achieving and maintaining an erection.’

Oh yes, we’ve definitely heard about the famous Canadian brothel that launched the family fortune. Perhaps this is where Trump’s desire to build phallic-shaped buildings originated, but how ironic would it be if he faced, uh, difficulties with his own manhood?

All of this could be garbage or maybe something Ivana Trump said while she was angry at the guy. After all, he still managed to father five children despite any claims of inadequacy, but Ted Cruz probably still has a copy of this bio on request for overnight delivery.

Trump hasn’t gotten wind of this newly recirculated story, which began picking up steam on Friday. He’s been too busy hugging Bobby Knight in Illinois.

(via Politico)

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