Canibus, This Is Your Life

06.10.12 6 years ago 50 Comments

Between the Celtics, boxing in general and people begging to give Nike $250, last night became a perennial cavalcade of Ls. Lost in the shuffle was one formerly heralded MC Canibus. The surprisingly still alive “rapper” took a break from being the proverbial tree falling that no one hears to partake in a freestyle battle on iPPV. The results are astonishing.

After taking some tough bars from an asthmatic rapper, ‘Bus, sporting a shirt with his name on it and a sling that he needed from either writing lyrics for three weeks straight or throwing eggs at Wyclef’s house, decided that he needed some help. So, after admitting defeat, he pulled out a notebook to help him finish. That, of course, is a fail in itself, but dear goodness look at that notebook!

It’s one of those big ass notebooks with the dotted lines in the middle so kindergartners know where to write the lowercase letters. Sweet and sour Jesus, there’s just so much fail going on here. Not only is he reading the lyrics, he’s pausing for 20 seconds between each line to determine which of the hundreds of lines no one will understand he’ll deliver.

Dear Grace Jones and Rich Boy, please come get your love child and deliver him from this unending loss bombing.

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