‘Coffee Flour’ Is A Thing That Exists Now

04.10.14 4 years ago


The human race consumes a lot of caffeine. In fact, coffee is second only to oil as the most commonly traded commodity on Earth. As a result, we’ve been trying to work caffeine into everything, and the latest innovation is making flour out of coffee.

This requires some explanation. Coffee beans are actually seeds from a “coffee cherry.” This means that coffee farmers basically have a gigantic pile of fruit pulp at any given time that’s generally left to rot. Coffee flour turns that fruit pulp into something you can bake with. And yes, according to Mashable, it has caffeine, although not as much as you’d think:

To get a jolt equivalent to one cup of joe, a person would have to eat anywhere from seven to 16 slices of bread made with about 20 percent coffee flour. Also, the edible caffeine product tends to have a slower, more sustained effect than liquid coffee.

In other words, you’ll only be slightly more caffeinated. But we’ll take all the caffeine we can get.

The good news is that you’ll be able to try this stuff for yourself soon enough. The bad news is that’s because it’s gluten-free, but full of iron, fiber, and protein. In other words it is exactly the kind of thing that tiresome douche on your Wall who bitches about his gluten “sensitivity” will latch onto like the remora that is his unknowing spirit animal.

But look on the bright side: When Starbucks inevitably starts making products with this stuff, you can either get the caffeine you need to deal with this guy right there, or something scalding hot to dump on him. Also, caffeinated bread!

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