UPROXX Summer Guide: Cool Retro Swag

07.13.10 8 years ago 4 Comments

They love the Power Glove. It’s so bad.

It’s summer, which means if you’re an agoraphobic, horrifically-pale blogger you’re retreating to the reassuring, fun things of your youth while you wait for the evil Sun to go away. Or maybe you just like cool stuff.  Either way, check out these retro possessions.  They’re the bees knees.

Oh sweet Jesus, it’s the Slush Mug. These things are the reason I had five cavities at my first ever dentist appointment.  Still worth it. $10 at PerpetualKid.

The RetroN3 game system supports old NES, SNES, and Genesis games and controllers (with 2 NES ports, 2 SNES ports, and 2 Genesis ports) and also comes with two wireless universal controllers.  Available in red or black for $70 from Hyperkin. [via Slashgear]  If you want a similar, cheaper system without the Genesis option, prepare to be dazzled:

Consider yourself dazzled.

That’s the Retro Duo ($50 at ThinkGeek), which plays only NES and SNES cartridges.  And if you have trouble getting those old cartridges to work, just take a cue from what my 8th grade gym coach would say: blowing fixes everything. Hey, I passed gym.

Rather play a free NES emulator on your computer, but want the retro feel of the controller? ThinkGeek also has a $30 NES USB controller.  Now you can play Bible Adventures the way Satan intended. (Satanic influence is the only rational explanation for how much that game sucked.  Jokes are funnier when you explain them in parenthesis.)

Oh my dear Lord.  Astronaut Ice Cream.  The only memorable thing about that one field trip that one time.  You know the one.  I want the eat the neapolitan flavor out of a Slush Mug, ’cause I’m a baller. $22.50 for a 10 pack at Amazon.  That’s 7 ounces total.  Wait, $51.43 per pound?  No wonder NASA needs a bigger budget.

Converse is releasing the Dr. Seuss Sneaker Collection.  The adult shoes are going to cost $55 to $65.  They’ll be $35 to $40 for babies and toddlers, and will run $40 to $45 for three to twelve years old. I guess teenagers will be able to wear the adult sizes, although I was kind of hoping there was a separate size range for teens and they were specifically left out of the collection.  Do you think they’d appreciate the radness of those Cat in the Hat shoes?  Of course not.  Teenagers should be kicked in the sneetch.

Maybe it’s too soon to call Futurama retro, considering it’s still on TV, but I couldn’t leave this out.  Futurama: The Complete Collection 1999-2009 is $106 at Amazon and Walmart.  It includes nineteen discs with over 33 hours of material: all episodes up till last year, all four films, deleted scenes, and a bunch of other bonuses, all wrapped up inside Bender’s shiny metal plastic head.  I’m feeling nostalgic already.

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