Is This Groupon's Creepiest Deal Ever?

Entertainment Editor
06.06.12 5 Comments

Jim Romenesko (who designed part of the picture above) tipped me off to the weirdest Groupon I’ve ever seen (yes, even weirder than this one): Ben Kobold will come to your house and tuck you into bed for the low price of $100 if you live within 5 miles of his zip code in the Loop district of downtown Chicago. Kobold is a writer for Groupon, so this may be an elaborate inside joke or publicity stunt, although Groupon spokesperson Julie Mossler tells Reuters, “There’s a real demand for a service like this. There’s nothing strange about it. It’s very straightforward.”

Yep. Nothing strange at all about this:

$100 for Bedtime Tuck-In from Ben Kobold ($100 Value)
Upon entering your bedroom, Ben Kobold immediately begins to analyze your linen seams and pillow placement, planning a tucking strategy as you enjoy a glass of water he has poured for you. After you hydrate, Ben’s sinewy, well-groomed fingers delicately raise each sheet and blanket over your body until you’re comfortably bundled. Careful not to disturb any children who may be in the adjacent room, Ben leans in and uses his summer-breeze-like voice to gently sing you one of the five lullabies he has authored. Once your body temperature has fallen and your breathing has slowed, Ben and his legally required entourage of two or three companions will slip soundlessly out the front door and into the night. He’ll return to his sleeping barracks, where he’ll tuck himself in and whisper his lullabies to himself.
Ben Kobold
Ben Kobold has been tucked in for most of his 28 years of life. He is disease-free, physically. His chest measures 48 inches all the way around.

There’s also nothing strange about this picture:


P.S. I’m not paying $100 for a “custom tuck from nice young man” unless “she” is going to call me daddy.

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