The List Of People Banned From This Pub Should Be Edgar Wright’s Next Movie

The Half Moon is a legendary pub and music venue (everyone from Frank Sinatra to U2 has played there) in Herne Hill, London, that unfortunately closed down in 2013 due to a flood, and has yet to re-open. It also has a legendarily great list of patrons who are currently banned from the establishment. They could all be characters in a Jason Statham movie. I’m not sure why it took so long for someone to put this online, but I’m glad they did.

https://twitter.com/djsantero/status/719826823488651264?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Unfortunately, we don’t know what That Blonde Bitch and Fat Paul did to be banned, but I have some guesses.

Mickey Two Suits
-Wouldn’t shut up about Mickey Blue Eyes.

Adam the Deaf Guy
-Thought he was playing Rolling Stones on jukebox, actually playing Coldplay.

Fat Paul
-Took “yo mama” jokes way too seriously.

The Ginger Drunk Twat Called Angus
-They were fine with the drunk, they were fine with the twat, they were even fine with being named Angus. But the ginger? That’s too much.

Staring Pervert
-He only had eyes for you(r breasts).

That Blonde Bitch
-Being a bitch?

Gus and His Mate Mark
-Gus was chill; Mark was actually three dogs in a trench coat.

As for One-Armed “Kieth”:

This pub needs to be saved.

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