Jacked-Up Citi Field Muscleman Vs. A Bottle Of Aquafina. Who Ya Got?

Pro Wrestling Editor
08.04.13 25 Comments

Citi Field muscle man bottle

Bro, do you even drink?

A muscular gent attended Saturday’s New York Met vs. Kansas City Royals game at Citi Field and met his match: an $8-ish bottle of water with an impossible-to-twist-off cap. WHERE ARE YOUR TWO-A-DAYS AND RISE-AND-GRINDS NOW, MUSCLEMAN?

Be careful, buddy, you might pop a blood vessel.

Poor guy (assumedly) posts Instagram pics every day, hashtagging things like “leg day” and “sup ladies” to let us know that he’s gone to the gym again and is great at it, and now all he’ll be famous for online is that time he tapped out to Aquafina.

As anyone who has struggled with a stubborn cap or lid knows, there are only three, surefire ways to get through it.

1. Tap around the edge of the lid (or cap) with the heavy end of a butter knife. That’ll loosen up some of the pressure and let you twist it off with ease. Citi Field has a bunch of silverware lying around somewhere, right? I know Jerry Seinfeld doesn’t eat with plastic forks.

2. Use ancient weapons to slice open the container, then drink whatever you can lap up off the floor.

3. Hand that sh*t to a friend and see if they have any better luck.


Hey Aquafina, if you’re reading this (and I know you are), send this guy a crate of juice boxes so he doesn’t die of dehydration at the baseball game.

[via MLB.com]

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