Reddit never stops churning out the goods when it comes to mortifying (and somewhat educational) threads. Whether one wants to learn about haunted house stories, education for the opposite sex, or risque truth-or-dare tales, the extensive website is their filthy oyster.
Reddit’s latest grand slam of a thread — “What’s The Worst Thing You’ve Accidentally Texted Someone?” — describes the outcome of what we all fear. Texting is a valuable tool, but the immediacy of this communication method means we often tap away and hit “send” without thinking. Once those texts go out, they can’t be retrieved without repercussion. Bosses, parents, siblings, and coaches all bear the brunt of these accidents. Here are some marvelous tales of misery from Reddit users.
OccasionallyGirly pulled the dreaded mistake of sending his dad a sext:
“I want you to wear that little black thing that barely covers your ass tonight ;)’ – meant for a f*ckbuddy, sent to my estranged father whom I had recently reconnected with The kicker? I had told him that I couldn’t see him that night because I had a ‘family event’ to go to … yikes.”
NippleChan69 got to know his hetero buddy a little too well:
“I, (heterosexual male) once asked my friend (another heterosexual male) for booty pics. He and my girlfriends names both start with the same first 3 letters. He responded with booty pics. I thought I had a hairy ass. shudders.”
Here is perhaps the cruelest text of all-time from JarlBarker:
“Texted ‘Get Chipotle’ to my bedridden grandmother.”
JustForCancer‘s dad got a little too randy, and she never spoke of it again:
“He goes on an old lady banging spree. Anywhere and everywhere. Spent a lot of his retirement assuming he wouldn’t live long anyway. This was a huge mistake … One day as I’m walking into work I get a text. At 7:30 am. From my dad. To me, his youngest daughter. The one that’s trying to salvage any kind of relationship. This gave me a physical gotta-vomit reaction. ‘Well my little buddy woke up nice and hard. Why don’t you come and lick his little head. Promise I won’t squirt you in the eye.'”
ThrakkerZog surely never lived this mistake down at work:
“Texted a woman I work with “Come upstairs to bed, I miss you” instead of my wife.”
JohnBunzel forgot about the automatic iCloud transfer from photo roll:
“Not exactly texted, but iCloud transfer. My girlfriend at the time had wanted a picture of my d*ck. I had never taken a d*ck pic before so eh why not? So I take the pic and send it to my girlfriend. The next day, I’m with my girlfriend and my dad calls me. I answer and he’s like, ‘Why the F*CK does your mom have a picture of your d*ck on her phone!?’ This was no ordinary picture either. I was laying on my back, got an erection and propped my d*ck up nice and straight and put the camera beneath my d*ck with my face in the background. It was some good sh*t. Turns out they had just set up iCloud that day, and I had used my dads credit card for music most recently so my phone was hooked up to their iCloud and I had no idea. I couldn’t look my mom in the eyes for a while.”
FatGuyInALittleCoat revealed too much to a coach, who had the best reaction:
“Texted my high school football coach ‘Goodnight, I love you’ as a freshman (intended for my girlfriend). He made me run extra at practice the next day for telling a girl I loved her as a freshman. Life lesson learned.”
TheNoveltysWornOff‘s dog unintentionally hit upon his pet sitter:
“Texted my pet sitter ‘I miss you.’ She texted back asking if the message was from my dog. Social anxiety dictated I never hire her again … I meant to text it to my gf but oh well. After that I hired a kid that looked like Harry Potter who walked in on my roommate naked. Bad luck with pet sitters.”
Rottinguy got himself busted and is the worst at skipping work:
“‘Yeah get the boat ready, I just told my boss I was sick and won’t be in today.’ To my boss. It is worth noting that my boss was cool about it and responded with ‘bass fever huh?'”
This isn’t a text, but Cumblebee scrutinized this photo so long (and so hard) that it’s worth an honorable mention:
“I stumbled upon a d*ck pic on my old computer when I came home from college. I looked at it and was like hmmm, I don’t remember saving any of these to my hard drive. I couldn’t put a face to this d*ck so I stared for a while trying to see if I could remember it. As it so happened, the comforter I the pic matched the one in the room I was sitting in, and so did the curtains, and the wall and ooohgodthisismybrotherspenis! I, too, still cringe.
“TL;DR my brother has a weird penis, but I’m not gonna be the one to tell him that.”
BrothaBudah presented a tale about an unsettlingly polite coach:
“About a year ago, a friend of mine accidentally sent a d*ck pick to our varsity football coach with that caption “You want? ;)”. Coach casually responded with a no and left it at that.”
BertrandsMate acted like he was fulfilling a business order here:
“‘Phones almost set up, just need to transfer nudes’ to my family whatsapp group.”
MangoTwist must have been grounded after this high-school delinquent text:
“I skipped school and stayed home without my parents knowing, and instead of texting my brother, I texted my dad ‘Sh*t dad’s home.'”
All of these people fought against technology, and technology won. Better luck next time, and watch those fingers.
(Via Reddit)