New York Judge Chews Out Copyright Trolls In Hilarious Ruling

Before we talk about this, we want you to savor this sentence:

John Doe #29’s counsel represents that his client is an octogenarian with neither the wherewithal nor the interest in using BitTorrent to download Gang Bang Virgins.

Seriously, just roll that across your mental tongue for a minute. Now feel the joy that comes with realizing that this will be part of United States law for all eternity.

We’ve mentioned porn copyright trolling before: a pornographer finds people who downloaded his stuff (allegedly) and tells them they can either settle for a few grand or have everybody know they watched “Doubled-Stuffed Vol. #19” without paying for it. But lately, the federal bench has been slapping these cases down hard, especially when they’re filed by, uh, people without law licenses.

Judge Gary Brown, though, really roasted them in his opinion:

“The most persuasive argument against permitting plaintiffs to proceed with early discovery arises from the clear indicia, both in this case and in related matters, that plaintiffs have employed abusive litigation tactics to extract settlements from John Doe defendants. Indeed, this may be the principal purpose of these actions,” Judge Brown wrote.

He also points out that BitTorrent “swarms” aren’t “conspiracies,” and if the porn producers really want to sue each person who downloaded the video, well, they’ll have to pay the $350 filing fee for each individual they want to sue.

(Image courtesy Meagan on Flickr)

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