“Do you want this flaccid or hard?”
How to make a viral video, ranked:
9) Punch a bully.
8) Fall on your face in spectacular fashion.
7) Do a trick shot.
6) Catch someone cheating on their significant other.
5) Anything about Frozen.
4) Film a friend after they get their wisdom teeth pulled.
3) Ask someone to draw a penis.
2) Ask someone to draw a vagina.
1) Ask someone to draw boobs.
Congratulations, you’ve selected number three. Your prize is one million views.
And fellas this goes without saying, but don’t name your penis. And if you do, don’t call it “White Lightning.”