I’m very saddened to report the death of a Philadelphia man, Elwood “Buddy” Segeske III, a “David Bowie look-alike” among other things, who died last week at just 60 due to “torso failure” and “the lasting effects of a 1992 alien abduction.” While Buddy’s life may have been tragically cut short, his obituary tells the story of an eccentric man with a wonderful sense of humor, whose passing likely leaves a great hole in the lives of his friends and loved ones.
He leaves behind two sons, Kyle and Elwood IV, brothers Stephen and Kevin, sister Lucille (Louann Segeske ) Fleming, step-mother Mickey Segeske-Meister, life-partner Lisa Razzi, whom he met at the local psychiatric hospital, and a battery-operated cymbal-smashing monkey.
He really has that monkey, too! The obit goes on to detail Buddy’s rough North Philly upbringing, in a neighborhood that has now become home to many craft breweries and upscale gastropubs:
Buddy was raised on the mean streets of Kensington, where he claimed the men were men, and so were half the women. He spoke fondly of his childhood friends and those who didn’t end up in prison went on to become carnies, bottle cleaners, master debaters and/or Republicans. Still, despite his neighborhood’s hardscrabble reputation, Buddy says he cried the first time he made love, although it was probably due to the pepper spray.
Buddy had many talents, not the least of which was a laser-precision aim, both on the soccer field and off:
An avid collector of safety glasses which he kept in the rear cargo compartment of his trusty Dodge Durango, Buddy also had a habit of hanging onto business cards, which made his wallet thicker than George Costanza’s and ultimately required him to undergo back surgery. And although he achieved many things in his life, he was most proud of his years playing soccer, his near-perfect recall of Beatles song lyrics and his ability to hit the urinal cake with pinpoint accuracy.
Finally, Buddy was a man of my own heart, eschewing traditional exercise and health regimens to appreciate the finer things in life (note to self, Buddy did die at 60 so maybe just a little bit of exercise and restraint is okay):
To relieve stress, Buddy preferred smoking and drinking over yoga, although he did cut a fine figure in yoga pants according to his partner Lisa and an undisclosed number of female (and male) admirers. He also loved playing pool, fishing, stalking Jennifer Lawrence and looking at boobs.
If we could all aspire for such a life. It’s with great hope that Buddy is now looking down on J-Law’s boobs from heaven, where he’s probably riding on the back of Pervert Dave’s motorcycle. RIP.
(Via Cavanagh Funeral Home via Reddit)