Have Your Next Date At The New, Improved Upscale Taco Bell!

06.11.12 6 years ago 26 Comments

The last time I indulged in Taco Bell was three years ago. And the only reason was because it was (really) late at night and I didn’t feel like sitting and waiting for food at Waffle House, IHOP or Denny’s. Sparing some truly graphic details, let’s just say it gave me the worst case of bubble guts I have ever experienced. Now, after a test run which started in January in Kentucky and California, the chain appears ready to unveil their new “upscale” menu beginning July 5.

Fast food beef – the Hip-Hop kind, not the actual beef beef – appears to be on the menu as Taco Bell looks to capture the market Chipotle has seemingly cornered. The renovated menu will feature a Cantina Burrito Bowl and the Cantina Burrito, and check this. Both will be available in steak, chicken or veggie varieties priced under five bucks (Chipotle is $8!). If that wasn’t enough, there’s the celebrity endorsement, too. The Cantina Bell menu was created by Lorena Garcia who just so happens to be on the next season of Bravo’s Top Chef Masters airing July 25.

The ball’s in Chipotle’s kitchen now. For their sake, hopefully they don’t ignore this and laugh it off as someone throwing rocks at their throne because we all saw how that worked out for Ja Rule in 2002. Needless to say, I’m still on the fence on if I’ll end my exile from Taco Bell for this. I swear, if I eat a burrito bowl from there and I go through what I went three years ago, I’m suing the company for everything they have on the grounds of intestinal discrimination.


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