Ted Cruz, the former Republican presidential candidate and one-time (unlikely) star of a “five mistresses” tabloid feature, landed in scandal-land again late Monday night when his Twitter account “liked” some hardcore porn. Naturally, everyone freaked out, and Cruz blamed this fiasco on a nameless staff member while … everyone continued to freak out. This would include the ladies of ABC’s The View, who devoted a Hot Topic segment to Cruz (allegedly) getting randy with himself on 9/11.
2017, man. It can’t get any weirder until it does, almost every week. Gems from this segment — which is worth watching in its entirety — include Joy Behar admitting what many people are thinking: “Just the words Cruz and porn could drive me into celibacy.” Whereas Sonny Hostin wants to explore “the mechanics” of how folks could tell that Cruz (or the “staff member”) actually liked the clip. And all of this is mighty hilarious to witness on a show that folks watch during a morning coffee or workout session.
Ultimately, the panel members zero in on how Cruz once vigorously defended a law that would criminalize sex-toy sales because they facilitate “prurient interests in autonomous sex and the pursuit of sexual gratification unrelated to procreation.” It follows that Cruz railed against masturbation, which — back in 2016 — led his old college roommate, the infamous Craig Mazin, to tweet-allege that Cruz must have picked this up as a “new belief.” And Mazin presented everyone with the mental image of Cruz enjoying that pastime “four feet below you in the bottom bunk bed.”
As Sara Haines added of Cruz’s public anti-masturbation stance, “Well see, when you’re pent up, it eventually explodes.” Ummm yeah, exactly.