You likely thought one Tetris movie was enough to quell the hunger for a film based on the classic Russian puzzle game. Sadly, you were wrong and you should be ashamed. Hollywood and Chinese investors aren’t interested in just one and done ideas, they want franchises. And when you think Tetris, franchise is the first word that comes to mind.
In a chat with Empire, producer Larry Kasanoff talks a bit about what we can expect from the upcoming Tetris film and drops the announcement that the film will no longer big one film. It’s now a trilogy:
“That’s correct,” he confirms, “and purely because the story we conceived is so big. This isn’t us splitting the last one of our eight movies in two to wring blood out of the stone. It’s just a big story.”
The filmmaker, whose CV includes Paul W.S. Anderson’s Mortal Kombat and an exec-producer credit on True Lies, is keen to stress that it won’t just involve anthropomorphised blocks doing battle. “We’re not going to have blocks with feet running around the movie,” he tells Empire, “but it’s great that people think so. It sets the bar rather low!”
Well if it’s not going to be that, what could it be? The story is being tightly kept under wraps, which one could assume means it doesn’t exist. But if it does, people aren’t going to be able to guess what it is about according to the minds behind the trilogy:
“I guarantee you it’s not what you think,” cautions Kasanoff, as we imagine what Fall Out Boy’s version of the Tetris theme might sound like. “No-one has come remotely close to figuring out what we’re doing.”
So if it involves using Tetris blocks to build and create weapons to battle evil aliens, with a sort of LEGO Movie feel tossed in with the epic nature of the Transformers movies, does my guess earn me a prize? Can I punch a member of the cast in the face? Can I swarm the craft services table? Give me something.