Anna Kendrick Wants You To Know What Her Farts Don’t Smell Like

This bit of breaking news could be either filed under TMI, or not enough info because Anna Kendrick doesn’t describe what her farts smell like (I’m thinking sandalwood with notes of seagrass). Kendrick was interviewed by Net-A-Porter about something, blah, blah, (we came here for the farts), and in response to some question about normalcy, she said, “It feels dishonest to me to let anybody in the world think that my farts smell like lavender or something.”

I have several thoughts about this. First, girls don’t fart, so this whole idea of her tootie smells is wishy-washy. If girls do fart, then it’s not fair that celebrities get to have car freshener-scented methane blasts. They have everything already. Lastly, we must now initiate an investigation as to what Kendrick’s poots smell like for, you know, posterity… and science.

We’ll keep a nose on this story as it continues to ventilate and disperse.

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