This Man Actually Heard His Penis Snap During Sex

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Meet Alan Parke, an ordinary man with a very extraordinary problem: he actually snapped his penis during sex. What’s worse, he could actually hear the sound of his genitals breaking. And, to top it all off, there was blood everywhere. Sound bad? Hang on to your unmentionables, it’s about to get weirder.

The Irish Mirror reports that Parke was having a romantic interlude with his girlfriend (who has stood by him through his time of adversity) when he heard a terrible, terrible noise.

Alan said: “We were just having sex, I was on the bottom and Clarissa was on top.

“All of a sudden I heard something snap. I’ve never known pain like this, it was absolutely excruciating.

“Clarissa was trying to calm me down because I was jumping around. It was the worst pain I’ve ever experienced.

“We went to Letterkenny General Hospital and the doctors there said it was the first time they’d ever seen anything like it.

After Parke was sent to a bigger hospital (where a penis fracture might have been seen before?), he was quickly operated on, his penis was put into a sling for two months and he was ordered to be on strict bed rest and not touch the area (which was still very painful). According to The Irish Mirror, Parke had to call the ambulance seven times during the healing process because he couldn’t control the blood that was spurting from him like an unholy geyser.

The good news? He’s fine now! He might not be having sex yet, but he’s back to work (after eight weeks off!) and no longer has to have a nurse come by to change his dressings. He’ll probably never live down the fact that his neighbors heard his cries the night his penis broke. Apparently, he sounded like a “squealing baby.” Nice.

(Via The Irish Mirror)

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