Vikings That Much Closer To Tormenting Minnesotans For Another 30 Years

03.01.12 6 years ago 11 Comments

One more team could soon be taken off the relocation block, as the Vikings stadium bill appears likely to pass in the Minnesota State Legislature. Los Angeles will just have to be content with only having taken one sports franchise from the hands of frozen but welcoming white people. Our resident dejected Vikings fan is about as ecstatic as you’d expect about the idea of never being freed from the albatross of Vikes fandom.

Minnesota governor Mark Dayton is doing his best to put a happy spin on the deal, according to the terms of which the Vikings will front slightly more than half of construction and operation costs. That could be as much as, like, 50.1 percent! Anyway, Dayton swears none of the public money for the stadium will come from general fund tax dollars, meaning local pols will be hard at work coming up with sneaky extra charges for public services. Revenue from ominous sounding things called “electronic pull tabs” will also help fund the stadium. That sounds like the state plans to taser residents on the street and take the money that falls out if their pockets. In truth, they’re just a portable gambling device, which only slightly less sleazy.

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