Richard Branson Wants To Turn Virgin Airlines Into A Flying Meat Market In The Sky, Apparently

Why do people always insist on f*cking up a good thing?

As anyone who flies regularly knows, flying Virgin (Virgin Atlantic and Virgin America) is one of the last few pleasurable things about airline travel. When it comes to good airlines that leave you actually feeling like a human being if your fly coach, there’s Virgin and JetBlue, and that’s pretty much it. The rest are all pretty much one big ball of misery.

But now Virgin honcho “Sir” Richard Branson seems intent on douching up his airline with its new, terrible-sounding “Get Lucky” program, which encourages passengers to hit on each other in-flight.

Reports CNN:

Thanks to Virgin America’s not at all creepy new service, passengers can use the airline’s “Red” in-flight entertainment system to send a drink, meal or snack to the object of their affection.

So, once you’ve pinpointed your designated hottie with Virgin’s digital seat map, what comes next? Browse the menu and decide what to send over.

Maybe he looks like a Bombay Sapphire kind of a guy. And what lady can resist an ice cold Bud Light? She’ll be yours in no time.

Follow up with a text sent through the seat-to-seat messaging system. The cheesier the better.

“This Bud’s for you, sexy lady.”

The thing about this is that if you’re a girl and a creepy guy hits on you in a bar, you have the option of getting up and walking out and going to another bar. If you’re on a flight, you’re stuck with no place to go. I mean, just look at the guy in the Virgin promo pic…doesn’t he look, well, like a date rapist? Also, is that Chelsea Peretti he’s sending a drink to?

And somehow this promo video Branson stars in makes it all even more douchier…

Why can’t people just leave a good thing alone? Ugh.

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