There you are, a simple, chill seal, minding your own business, maybe eating some tasty fish near Victoria, British Columbia, when out of nowhere, you become a football and a killer whale punts you 80 yards in the air. While you’re soaring in the chilly air, briefly feeling the same thrill that inspired the Wright Brothers (and Superman), your entire life flashes before your eyes.
When you were born, when you ate your first lobster, when you… turns out, you’ve lived a pretty boring life. This whale punt is the best thing that could’ve happened to you. Now you’ve got a story to tell your seal friends and family, assuming you survive the [crashes into water]. To be continued…?
(I like the part where the seal gets punted.)