“You Didn’t Make It Spiky Enough!”

05.09.12 6 years ago 17 Comments

What’s Jimmy Clausen up to these days, besides being the Panthers worst case scenario if Cam Newton goes down? Being shockingly dissatisfied by the quality of a Supercuts and ranting about it on Twitter, of course. What else? The former Notre Dame douchelord/Peter King-anointed most pro-ready QB ever discovered that when you skimp on paying up a haircut, you end up with the less than perfectly frosted tips that you’ve come to expect. It’s okay, though. Supercuts “guarantees” their work, so the next butchering is on the house.

All too appropriate that Brady Quinn started giving Clausen a hard time, only for Jimmy to explain that he was out eating somewhere, spotted the Supercuts and decided to go for it. Total #YOLO move, brah.

Overheard at the Supercuts:

“More dye! How else can I show off my sixteen high school rings?”

“That kid got a balloon! I want a balloon!”

“If I didn’t want coconut-scented conditioner I wouldn’t have come to the place I saw advertised on the side of a bus.”

“Why do I have to take my sunglasses off? Can’t you go around them? Didn’t you learn anything at barber college?”

“I don’t mind waiting five minutes, but can you please find some magazines that mention me? Try Street and Smith’s 2007 College Football Preview.”

“I’m not wearing that stupid smock. And if you get one hair on my shirt I’ll rip you a new asshole on Twitter.”

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