04.13.09 9 years ago 32 Comments

WE CAN NOW CALL HIM SCRILLABACK! Pencil-mustachioed defensive player of the year James Harrison agrees to a 6-year, $51 million extension with the Steelers, thus ensuring that he and LaMarr Woodley will continue tag teamming opposing quarterbacks and your mom for years to come. Meanwhile, the Steelers have yet to sign a single player other than one of their own free agents this offseason. Because they’re clearly leaving roster spots open for Vick and a Plax return AND OTHER THINGS THAT WOULD HAPPEN IN A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT PARALLEL UNIVERSE.

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