As I already made note of while discussing Hermione's boozy tendencies, it's Harry Potter Week! on the internet. I'm sure you haven't noticed. But while the rest of the world is getting all nostalgic and sentimental as "It All Ends," focusing on how the kids have grown and how Neville Longbottom could now bang your girlfriend, I intend to keep things lighthearted and low brow, with sparkly balls jokes and such.
You may have thought differently but there's actually quite the surplus of Harry Potter comedy on the world wide web that doesn't insinuate doing something creepy to Emma Watson. You just have to be willing to dig deep, which I have. Nerds who got worked up over "Pottermore" may want to bypass this one as I'd hate to offend your delicate "Potter" sensibilities with a good chloroform joke. Everyone else sit back and enjoy.