Overheard recently on the campus of the University of Alabama:
Rylee: “You guys, what are we gonna do for rush week this year?”
Ashlee: “Y’all are going to see Rush? My dad listens to that band. Gross.”
Wylee: “No, silly, rush week is when we recruit new girls into our sorority, like we did with YOU…REMEMBER?!”
Ashlee: “Oh yeah right. I was so drunk I forgot, obvs…HEHEHEHE! Remember that night I made out with Greg McElroy in front of his whore girlfriend after we got our asses kicked by LSU?”
Rylee: “Seriously y’all, we need to do something super impressive this year.”
Ashlee: “Speaking of super impressive, I heard Nick Saban has a giant, fat peen. My friend Taylor saw him wearing some crimson coaches shorts and she said his package was ridic. And he calls his players ‘cunts.’ So hawt! I’d totally give that old coach a blowie. For realz.”
Wylee: “Why don’t we make a YouTube video, like that Rebecca Black girl did? Look how popular she got from doing that?
Rylee: “OMG that’s a great idea!”
Ashlee: “Only if I can point at Coach Saban’s junk on the statue of him outside the stadium so he knows I want to eat his manbeef for brunch.”
Rylee and Wylee: “DONE!”
I want more like this!
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