Rick Santorum Would Really Like Google To Make His Filthy Google Problems Go Away

Poor Rick Santorum. He wants to be president soooo bad, you guys, so he can lead America back into the 19th century — a simpler time when there were no vaccines and no gays and no taxes. You know, the good ole days.

But Rick Santorum has a big problem — his last name has come to be known on the street as “the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex.” In case you’re unfamiliar with how this came to be, it was not unintentional — sex columnist and gay advocate Dan Savage created a website called “Spreading Santorum” in 2003 in response to Santorum’s numerous idiotic statements about homosexuals. The Google bombing campaign Savage launched caught steam and now, still to this day, Spreading Santorum is the first result to pop up in Google when you search under Rick Santorum’s name.

So now Santorum is blaming Google for his woes and is claiming that he’s being discriminated against because of his a$s-backwards political beliefs.

Now, the Republican presidential candidate says he’s convinced Google could do something to remedy the issue, if the company wanted to.

“I suspect if something was up there like that about Joe Biden, they’d get rid of it,” Santorum said. “If you’re a responsible business, you don’t let things like that happen in your business that have an impact on the country.”

He continued: “To have a business allow that type of filth to be purveyed through their website or through their system is something that they say they can’t handle but I suspect that’s not true.”

A Google spokesperson responded to Santorum by advising that users who want “content removed from the Internet should contact the webmaster of the page directly.”

“Google’s search results are a reflection of the content and information that is available on the web. Users who want content removed from the Internet should contact the webmaster of the page directly,” the spokesperson said. “Once the webmaster takes the page down from the web, it will be removed from Google’s search results through our usual crawling process.”

Of course, Santorum is only exacerbating his Google problems by complaining about this, which brings attention to it which in turn leads to people Googling him and clicking on the Spreading Santorum website. Go on, do it a dozen times or so. But the gays and liberal internet companies are at fault, of course.

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