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What Would Jean-Ralphio Do?: GQ’s Best Ever Q&A

By / 12.02.11

GQ recently had the honor of conducting a Q&A on fashion, romance, and the meaning of life with Ben Schwartz’s swagtastic alter ego Jean-Ralpio Saperstein. The piece is perfectly titled, “What Would Jean Ralphio Do?” I’d recommend anyone who has ever pissed tears take a couple of minutes to read the entire article, but if your just looking for the gist here are my five favorite WWJ-RDs?

GQ: What’s the ideal date?
Jean-Ralphio: Me, Snake Juice, anything by Tyrese or Sisqó playing in the background, waterbed.

GQ: After successfully crossing said puddle, you continue walking down the street until, all of a sudden, you encounter Drake exiting a limo. How do you introduce yourself?
Jean-Ralphio: “D to the R to the A-K-E. / It’s me J.R., do you want some tea…cups.”

GQ: What animal would you wear to the Grammys?
Jean-Ralphio: Dodo bird. Even Lady Gaga would be like, “JR…you inspire me.”

GQ: You’re in fifth grade. It’s math class. Julie sends you a note: I think you’re kinda cute.” What’s your next move?
Jean-Ralphio: I pass her a scientific calculator with pre-typed numbers that, when held upside down, spells BOOBIES.

GQ: You’re 83 years old. It’s bingo night. Ethel makes eye contact. What’s your next move?
Jean-Ralphio: I pass her a scientific calculator with pre-typed numbers that, when held upside down, spells BOOBIES.

Texas Instruments really is responsible for more love connections than they’re given credit for. Since it’s Friday, and you certainly don’t have anything better to do, I’d recommend revisiting The Complete Jean-Ralphio after the jump.


TOPICS#PARKS AND RECREATION
TAGSGQJEAN RALPHIOWHAT WOULD JEAN-RALPHIO DO?

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