"Paula Patton ruining my photo with Simon Pegg."
"I take photos with almost every celebrity I meet. And I look like an @sshole in almost every one. So why do I continue to do it? Because I'm f*cking stupid."
So not to be outdone by some rando taking the internet by storm with awkward celebrity photos, yesterday Norton tweeted:
"Someone posted their celebrity pics, so I stole the idea and posted mine. My fat face ruins almost every one. PART 1"
"PART 2 from my F*cking-Up-Celebrity-Photos-With-My-Idiotic-Face collection."
The photos themselves aren't nearly as intriguing as the ones that went viral yesterday. You know, since Norton is a quasi-celebrity himself and no one this side of me in middle school is matching Todd's penchant for awkward photos. BUT. Norton does provide hilarious self-deprecating captions to each of his, so I put the "F*cking-Up-Celebrity-Photos-With-My-Idiotic-Face" match at a draw.
Norton's collection is ginormous (seriously, dude wasn't joking about his compulsion) and stupid Imgur won't let me copy and paste his captions, so I've just included my fifteen favorite -- pretty much the ones where he makes fun of how short or weird looking he is -- here. Enjoy. And if the last one doesn't invoke at the very least an audible giggle we can't be friends.
"Mike Tyson, informing everyone exactly how he intended on making me his b*tch. And me smiling like one."
"Marlo and Omar. If you watched The Wire, you know how f*cking awesome this picture is. If not, kill yourself."
"George Lucas and I arguing over who has a weaker chin."
"Christopher Walken. He asked me for directions to the bathroom and I actually tried following him in like a creep."
"Christina Aguilera. 350 pounds ago."
"Tom Brady, who wanted to strangle me with my sh*tty tie."
"Stephen Merchant, right before I blew him standing up."
"50 should have ripped my f*cking arm off and beaten me to death with it."
"This photos is slightly blurry because Gary Busey is tickling me like a psycho."
"Aaron Rodgers at the Kentucky Derby. I should be decapitated in that f*cking hat."
"I asked Adrian Peterson for a photo because some woman did, I had no idea who he was."
"Just being a hunk with Bradley Cooper."
"My cohost for the AVN Awards, Jenna Jameson. What the f*ck is up with my smile?"
"Chaz Bono and me. You decide who's who."