Point Taken: Iman Shumpert
James Cameron's first footage from the bottom of the ocean

10 Celebrities Who Look Like Abandoned Mattresses

By 03.27.12

At first glance over a few comparison photos of celebrities dressed like abandoned mattresses I assumed they were from some new Tumblr that I may or may not write about depending on whether or not one looked like Nic Cage’s hair. I was intrigued to find that they instead originated from the Facebook page for the Unofficial Tourist Board for Walthamstow, which, upon further investigation, is a tongue-in-cheek dedication to a district in northeast London known for abandoned mattresses.

Walthamstow (known as ‘Awesomestow’ or ‘the stow’) was originally situated in northern France, but Queen Victoria won it on a bet with Napolean III in 1852. Vicky had Walthamstow flat-packed and shipped to North East London, where it remains today. Walthamstow is well known for its characterful Warner Homes which were invented in 1920 by international potato botherer Brian Harvey. Walthamstow Village has been posh since 1977 and has had its own currency, called Bacon Jam.
Today, Walthamstow is well-known for its abandoned mattresses (mattri). This sickening problem is often caused by owners moving, passing away or finding a nicer mattress. Mattri are often left to fend for themselves on the streets and some even become feral. Over 50% of abandoned mattri are euthanised while others are adopted or end up in shelters.

They’re pretty serious about the endeavor as well. In addition to inventing the term “mattri” and making me hungry for delicious monetary bacon jam they have a video and have taken on the Herculean task of matching up 25 abandoned mattresses with the clothing of assorted celebrities. Here are mine and Brian Harvey’s 10 favorites, complete with UTBW descriptions…
Source: The Walthamstow Tourist Board
“Rihanna dares to dazzle as the Jewel Road bacon frazzle.”
“Jessica Simpson cleverly copies this drunken single mattress outside a Walthamstow council estate.”
“This mattress was shocked to see his own reflection, but luckily it was just Perez Hilton in a silly wig. Phew.”
“Leonardo Dicaprio nails the mattress look in fluorescent beige.”
“It’s hard to tell David Mitchell apart from this pizza bothering mattress.”
“Fashionista pop queen Nicki Minaj setting trends with the queen-size candy stripe foam filled.”
“Miley Cyrus impersonates a coy mattress on a street in Walthamstow.”
“Lindsay Lohan disguises herself as this Ikea medium firm spring-base.”
“Nobody does winter like January Jones in this snow white orthopaedic number.”


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