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50 Cent Explains How To Stop Masturbating, In Four Simple Steps

By / 09.27.12

NOTE TO EVERYONE: if you Google “50 cent masturbation,” do NOT click on Google Images accidentally. ANYWAY, in my mind, 50 Cent saw The Master, didn’t approve of its frequent masturbation scenes, and then took to Twitter to explain to his 7.8 million followers, or approximately the amount of money Righteous Kill made, why he’s practicing abstinence now. In reality, well, who the hell knows? Yesterday, apropos of nothing, 50 Cent tweeted, “I’m practicing abstinence women = confusion I don’t need right now.SMSaudio,” followed by, “Masturbation is a sin you stop right now fool!!! lol God is watching you#SMS,” which is both an attempt to get you to stop playing with your doodle and an unneccesary plug to his brand of crappy headphones.

Then he gave his “step[s] to stop masturbating.” Take notes, everyone.





Step #5. Buy my headphones. Step #6. Think of this photo.

CURED.

(Via Twitter)


TOPICS#Twitter
TAGS50 CENTguide to not masturbateMasturbation

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