There are thousands of sad bastard wikiHow manuals out there, but my favorite might be, “How to Create a Fake Boyfriend or Girlfriend.” To quote:
Create a fake AIM (or other IM) account. Make sure the username has something to do with your fake boyfriend/girlfriend (ex. a fake nickname that you have for them, etc.) Keep the password simple and memorable. If you lock yourself out, your significant other will drop off the face of the earth. (Via)
But “dragonpooncrusher69″ is so easy to guess! Instead of following wikiHow’s 12-step guide, there’s a much simpler way to make all the babes and hunks TOTALLY jealous of you and your George Glass: Photoshop them into some photos with you. Poorly, of course, but no one pays attention to that; they’re going to be so blinded with envy that the pink-haired Yoshimna is sitting on your lap. Here are some of the best examples.