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‘The Haters Aren’t Gonna Stop Me': Rebuilding Michigan’s Largest Porn Collection

By / 02.25.13

On Friday, we discussed the story of Earlie Johnson, a Michigan man whose home had been broken into. Normally that wouldn’t have been a big story, but it turns out that the thieves made off with what Johnson believes is one of the largest pornography collections in the entire state. Initial reports had Johnson’s jag swag valued at $6,500, but he believes that was short a stack and the collection is actually worth upwards of $7,500.

Hyperbole be damned, that is one hell of a porn collection, and Johnson has been more than happy to discuss his tale with any reporter willing to hear it, because he is, after all, “The Hugh Hefner of Muskegon.” Don’t ever let anyone tell you a massive porn collection can’t get you an awesome nickname.

“Basically, I had a porn collection that was priceless,” Johnson said. “It was worth — to be straight up — $7,500 dollars.”

Johnson was confident of the monetary value of his stash of pornographic movies, which includes 1970s classics to more current titles starring some of the biggest names in adult movies, because he had the collection appraised by the CD Exchange in Holland.

“They buy your CDs and they also appraise what you got,” he explained. “They appraised my collection. It was done a couple years ago so they may not remember.” (Via Michigan Live, H/T to Spencer Hall)

Now that’s a career – porn appraiser. I imagine a gentleman with a caliper, one of those loupes on a solid gold chain and probably a three-foot ponytail that touches the middle of his unbuttoned silk dress shirt.

So what now for Johnson? How does he move on after having his hobby and greatest achievement ripped away from him? He gets back up, dusts himself off, goes to an underground flea market where secondhand and vintage pornography is sold and rebuilds, damn it.

Not one to admit defeat, Johnson went out right after discovering the burglary to buy a brand new HD 3D TV with the 3D glasses included so he and his fiancée can watch Blu-Rays in 3D.

“I will be getting my porn in Blu-Ray,” Johnson said. “The haters aren’t gonna stop me from collecting again.”

God bless America and Earlie Johnson.

(Original banner via Shutterstock, Earlie Johnson enjoying his wine via Michigan Live)


TAGSEARLIE JOHNSONHATERS GONNA HATEHobbiesMICHIGANPORNUSA! USA!

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