One day last week I was hungry around lunchtime and, since my kitchen was pretty bare of anything outside of booze and condiments, I walked over to a nearby deli to pick up something quick to eat. A packet of mozzarella cheese sticks wrapped in slices of prosciutto caught my eye — because it’s goddamn delicious — so I picked it up and returned home. As I reveled in the joy of consuming my tasty lunch, a thought hit me: Why is prosciutto not more popular?
I can still remember the first time I had prosciutto. It was not long after I’d moved to New York back in 2002. I was at a big, traditional Sunday dinner in the home of an Italian family I’d become friendly with. When the father placed a plate in front of me piled high prosciutto I’d honestly no idea what it was.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Just eat some,” he replied.
I did and my life has not been the same since. Have you had prosciutto? It’s like ham and bacon had sex and birthed a delicious meat offspring.
Seriously, why the hell is prosciutto not more popular, especially on the internet, where meats and people who love meat are wildly celebrated? Why doesn’t prosciutto enjoy the same status among varieties of pork meat as, say, bacon? Why isn’t there a Parks and Recreation storyline dedicated to Ron Swanson smoking his own prosciutto. I contend that it’s just as delicious, much less messy and requires no cooking. You can eat it straight out of the packaging it comes in at the grocery store!
And no, in case you’re wondering, I am not in the back pocket of big prosciutto. I’m just a man who knows injustice when he sees it and tries to right wrongs when he can. And I will not stop until there’s also a GIF of a smiling girl holding a baby pig with “PROSCIUTTO!” flashing across it.
Sometimes you just have to take a stand, man!
I want more like this!
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