A man who was wanted for a Maryland carjacking is in custody in Pennsylvania this morning after leading police on a high-speed chase across three jurisdictions and driving a stolen minivan into a river. (p.s. He was naked.)
A man wanted for a carjacking in Maryland led police on a chase in York County on Sunday morning – driving 90 mph at times and trying to ram police twice – then drove a stolen minivan into the Susquehanna River.
When police arrived near the crashed vehicle in Goldsboro, the man “was standing on top of the car, naked, as the vehicle was submerging,” Springettsbury Township Police Chief Thomas Hyers said. [York Daily Record]
Uhhhhhhhhh, what?
Goldsboro resident Adrienne Intrieri, 24, said she was in her home watching television when a car sped by, with several police vehicles behind it.
“So I knew something was going on,” she said. “It’s kind of crazy – stuff like this doesn’t happen around here.”
Well, yeah. A naked guy drove a stolen minivan into a river. I think we can safely describe that as “kind of crazy.” But, like, where were his clothes? Did he steal the van in the nude? Does he do that a lot? Is he a nudist car thief? Is that what’s going on here? Because if it is, someone needs to get Nicolas Cage’s agent on the phone, pronto.
But, most importantly, is there any way I can use this story to make a reference to Petey Pablo’s 2001 hit single “Raise Up”?
“It was a minivan floating down the river with a naked guy on it waving his underwear over his head,” said Michael Shirk of Goldsboro.
CENTRAL PENNSYLVANIA! COME ON AND RAISE UP. TAKE YOUR DRAWERS OFF, TWIST ‘EM AROUND YOUR HEAD. SPIN ‘EM LIKE A HELICOPTER.