Report: Perez Hilton Had A Baby, Is A Super Nice, Chill Bro Now

Ultimate internet mean girl Perez Hilton, the pissy gossip blogger with the Pepto Bismol-colored website famous for using MS Paint to draw dicks and cum on the face of celebrities, would like everyone to know that he’s a changed man. And not just changed in that he’s no longer a disgusting fat-fat-fattie. No, the new Perez is a kindler, gentler, Perez, at least according to a big blow job-y LA Times profile on Hilton.

There is a new calmness about Hilton, who was for years at the center of a self-created hurricane. Among the lawsuits, the online spats and the occasional punch in the face, Rolling Stone once said he had more beefs than the entire rap community combined.

His atrium-like entry offers a clue to his evolution. His last home was dominated by Hilton portraits sent by admirers. Here, a visitor is greeted by large white busts of Buddha, Jesus and Mary, Ganesh and Shiva floating against a dark wall with palm tree silhouettes.

“I wanted this to be my sacred space,” said the single gay dad, who asked his designers for “spiritual-meets-Miami.” Raised Catholic, he will forgo a traditional christening and instead host a blessing ceremony for the baby: “I’ll have everybody write down little positive thoughts and intentions and well wishes and keep them all in a box of good energy in his room.”

Vomit. I think I liked him better when he was doing the bitchy gay queen thing.

ANYWAY, part of the reason for the transformation is that there’s now a Perez Hilton Jr. in Perez’s life. Yes, he — via surrogate mother and egg donor — is a father now.

Hilton, who had one serious relationship in the last five years, always knew he would have a child by his 35th birthday, which is Saturday. And he has always been prepared to go it alone: “I knew it was going to happen this way because boyfriends and husbands may come and go, but kids are forever. I didn’t want to keep waiting.”

A changing table has been installed in his Pilates room, and the dramatic living room, dominated by a life-size black horse lamp from the designer Moooi, is cluttered with baby-phernalia. To cope with his new baby nerves, he shops online late at night, buying Spanish-language children’s books to read to his son, on advice of the pediatrician.

“The other day I locked myself in the bathroom and started crying because in addition to my brain feeling loopy, I really have felt super hormonal and emotional,” Hilton said, as Mario slept on a nursing pillow in his lap. “Wow, I really am a dad now and it’s awesome.”

In conjunction with the LA Times piece coming out, Perez posted a bunch of father/son photos to his site yesterday. I present a few of them here for your viewing without comment.

The bleach is under the kitchen counter if you feel the need to wash your eyes out.

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