Hey, Hollywood, have I got a movie pitch for you! OK, it starts off with these two very attractive Italian women — these ladies, they’re going to make the fellows’ cannolis super-sized — fighting outside of a casino or hotel or bus station or homeless shelter. It don’t really matter because it’s not just the ladies who are involved in the ruckus; there’s also a man dressed as a gladiator for some reason. We’ll give him a back story later, something for the chicks. Anyway, just as the fight’s gettin’ good, one lady tears the other lady’s dress right off. POOF. And then the broad with the torn dress hops onto her Vespa and rides off into the sunset in her unmentionables.
We’ll call: WHERE’D MY-A DRESS GO? *reaches out hand to accept bag with a giant dollar sign on the side*