Do you live in Brooklyn? Do you have a micro-penis? Well this Saturday could be your lucky day!
Organizers at Kings County Bar confirmed with us yesterday that (the Brooklyn’s Smallest Penis contest) is really happening: “The contest is absolutely happening this Saturday. Time has been moved up slightly, so we are anticipating starting between 3-4pm (doors will open to the public at 2pm). There are currently 12 contestants.” Also, they expect a crowd, so get there early if you want to get a good view. Please be advised, the tiny penises may be covered by underwear, as nudity is not required. That underwear, however, will be made wet with water guns.
According to Gothamist, the winner will receive ” the coveted title of 2013 Smallest Penis in Brooklyn, a crown, and a generous cash donation to the charity of his choice.” Hopefully, some girl with a small penis fetish will bang the winner later that night as well.
If you’re in NYC tomorrow and you don’t have anything to do and you don’t go to this, well, I’m not sure we can be friends.