Twerking is the craze sweeping the nation. As a southern boy who lives in New Orleans, I’ve seen and been exposed to twerking for ages, but I understand that not everyone is so blessed. Now that everyone is doing it, celebrities are getting in on the act.
Fortunately for us, we get to see these women show us what they’re working with. Unfortunately, not all of these ladies have the derriere dexterity to pull off high-quality twerkage. So, we’re here to help you distinguish between some of the best twerkers and the worst in the biz. Take a look and pull it together afterwards.
Vanessa Hudgens — This falls into the ugly category. What in the high unholy hell is this? Even Jay Leno knows this is a mess and he clearly has no concept of what human beings find enjoyable.
Taylor Swift — God, nothing she does isn’t annoying. Just look at that annoying annoyingness. This is why we need to send a Kanye signal in the air to make him show up and make it better.
Rihanna — Middle-of-the-road effort here from Robin. I know you can do better. Still, golf claps galore.
Ciara — She’s got actual dance skills and not just butt stuff. But this isn’t shabby. Probably right behind Nicki as Alpha female.
Nicki Minaj — Right now, she’s the celebrity GOAT when it comes to twerking. She also gets bonus points for knowing how to maneuver, um, parts that she wasn’t born with. She’s the standard-bearer for all other twerkers in celebrity-dom.
Miley Cyrus — Most overrated twerker ever. She reminds me of one of those women from college who thinks she is way better than she is and she’s surrounded by non-dancing friends who make her feel better about her shortcomings.
Twerking Cat — You’re a celebrity in my eyes. And you’re the best of them all.